047 – MONDAY NIGHT MAYHEM
Live from WCCW STUDIOS, Burbank, CA!
(We FADE IN on the INVASION locker room. THE DESTROYER sits in a business suit with his WCCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP over his shoulder. THE MONGOLS and THE IRON SHEIK are suited up for action and the BELGIAN BRAWLER stand behind them.)
THE DESTROYER: The INVASION must continue tonight! I have done my part and now you all must do yours. BEPO, GEETO, you must win tonight. You must advance in the rankings in order get within reach of the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS. While the MIDNIGHT EXPRESS and VALIANTS are busy fighting each other, you two must keep securing victories, so when the time comes that they’ve worn each other our you can step in and collect the spoils of war.
(THE MONGOLS grunt in agreement.)
DESTROYER: SHIEK, you, will have no trouble tonight and I’m sure you’ll easily dispatch of that fool you’re wrestling. Who is it again?
IRON SHEIK: Dat pig CONDREY! I shall brek heem in two and spit on hees carcas!
DESTROYER: Good. Then the plans are all set for tonight.
BELGIAN BRAWLER: And, THE BELGIAN BRAWLER, shall deliver to these American slime the best interview they have seen!
DESTROYER: Interview? What are you talking about?
BELGIAN BRAWLER: I am speaking of tonight when I, THE BELGIAN BRAWLER, goes out there on BILL APTER’S hot seat and deliver an interview which will be unsurpassed in the history of the WCCW!
(DESTROYER is instantly on his feet and in the BRAWLER’S face.)
DESTROYER: Who the hell said you were going out on APTER’S show?
BELGIAN BRAWLER: Why I did! I signed up this afternoon!
DESTROYER: You didn’t clear it with me!
BELGIAN BRAWLER: Clear it with you? I am the BELGIAN BRAWLER! I had the best record of last year even receiving a special mention at the end of the year awards! I need permission to speak of this on television.
DESTROYER: Yes. Yes you do. I have our invasion of the WCCW carefully planned out and I do not need any rogue elements messing it up!
BELGIAN BRAWLER: I am sorry this upsets you DESTROYER. THE BELGIAN BRAWLER meant no offense.
DESTROYER: From now on all interviews must be cleared with me, is that clear?
(The members of INVASION nod.)
DESTROYER: Good. Now you’ll go out there, but let’s be clear on what exactly you’re going to say…
(THE DESTROYER begins whispering to THE BELGIAN BRAWLER as we cut to the opening theme.)
Dennis Condrey d. Iron Sheik via pinfall with a FACE FIRST LEG SWEEP – **** – DENNIS CONDREY shocked those who thought this bought was going to be a opening match squash by dominating former HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION THE IRON SHEIK. Of course it took CONDREY three FACE FIRST LEG SWEEPS to get the pinfall, but the SHIEK mounted very little offense. A great match to kick off the evening.
(We’re ready for our next match. A loud guitar riff hits.)
ROAD DOGG: OHHHH YOU DIDN’T KNOW? YOUR ASS BETTA CALLLL SOMEBODY!!!!
(CROWD cheers as the music of the NEW AGE OUTLAWS hits and out come the ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES and BAD ASS BILLY GUNN. They hit the ring and ROAD DOGG signals for the music to be cut.)
ROAD DOGG: Okay, okay, we get it. You’re disappointed in us! When we hit the WCCW we promised you a new dominating tag team and frankly, we haven’t delivered. Right BILLY?
BILLY GUNN: Uh yes. We’ve done nothing but suck since we set foot in the WCCW ring JESSE.
ROAD DOGG: Too true, too true. But that all changes tonight when we go toe to toe, one on one, mano a mano….
BILLY GUNN: Uh, JESSE, there’s two of us and two of them. That’s not one on one.
ROAD DOGG: Oh right, right, tonight we go toes to toes, twos on two, manos a manos…
BILLY GUNN: Hands on hands?
ROAD DOGG: our hands spanking their asses all over this ring!
ROAD DOGG: Tonight we send the BACK ALLEY PUNKS back to their alley…
BILLY GUNN: And take that lovely lady Trinity home with us! HUBBA HUBBA!
(The BACK ALLEY PUNKS’ music hits and they storm the ring. The opening bell sounds and we are underway!)
NEW AGE OUTLAWS d. BACK ALLEY PUNKS via DQ when BEEFCAKE slammed ROAD DOGG into the guardrails in the opening moments of this match. – DUD – These are two teams with a lot to prove here in the WCCW and they both went into this match full force. They got a little too carried away as the action went immediately out of the ring and soon a DQ followed. Security had to break these two teams apart and rematch is surely in the works.
(S.D. JONES came to the ring to a chorus of boos!)
S.D. JONES: Thank you, thank you! I’m here once again, WCCW’S big man, out to show the power and tonight I’m going to finish what I started back in February and that’s to take out the so called tough guy, “Cowboy” Bob Orton! So Bobby boy, get out here and let me kiss your lilly white ass!
(ORTON storms out of the locker room and we begin our match!)
“Cowboy” Bob Orton d. S. D. Jones via pinfall with a SUPERPLEX – ** – ORTON was able to score the pinfall in this second match with JONES. JONES, for his part, put up and amazing defense and was even winning early on. In the end, ORTON got the win. One wonders if this will sit well with JONES and his new attitude.
(We cut to the locker room of CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO’S men. THE VALIANT BROTHERS and COUSIN LUKE stand in a huddle with ALBANO in the middle.)
COUSIN LUKE: Where’s Link?
ALBANO: He’s not here. We didn’t need the distraction! We need to focus! Tonight’s the night we put the final win over the MIDNIGHT EXPRESS to get our title shot!
COUSIN LUKE: And I get my chance to make that no good PRICHARD don I?
ALBANO: Yes. But we need to have a plan and the ‘Capper has just such a plan! Now get that camera out of here and I’ll tell you.
(THE VALIANT BROTHERS turn and shove the camera man out of the locker room and the door shuts! With that rather rude send off, we head to the ring for the next match.)
THE MONGOLS d. THE ARMSTRONGS via pinfall when Geeto Mongol smashed Brad Armstrong with a DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE – **1/2 – THE MONGOLS were SO impressive during this match. They kept the tag hot and were able to wear down THE ARMSTRONGS who most would have favored to win this match. This definitely puts THE MONGOLS further up in the rankings for sure!
BILL APTER’S HOT SEAT
(BILL APTER introduces the BELGIAN BRAWLER who comes out rather smugly.)
BILL APTER: Welcome to the hot seat Mr. Brawler. Now you are one of the the brightest young stars here in the WCCW. Ending last year with a perfect record. Since then, you have tasted a loss but still it’s rather impressive.
BELGIAN BRAWLER: That is right, Mr. Apter. The Belgian Brawler is the brightest shining star here in the WCCW. Even you mentioned so in your end of the year show, Mr. Apter. I ended the year with a perfect record. But it seems there is someone else in the WCCW who has that name, yes?
APTER: What name is that?
BELGIAN BRAWLER: Perfect.
APTER: Yes, Mr. Perfect.
BELGIAN BRAWLER: But Mr. Perfect not so Mr. Perfect is he? He lost did he not Mr. Apter.
APTER: Uh, that is correct. He did lose and was injured to end last year.
BELGIAN BRAWLER (laughs): Excuse my mirth Mr. Apter. But I just find it amusing how someone who loses can be called perfect? In fact, I’m going to take that name for myself. From now on you shall call me Mr. Perfect Belgian Brawler.
APTER: Uh, well, I don’t know if that will…
BELGIAN BRAWLER: No, it is my new name. My record is better than his, he can no longer claim to be perfect, for it is me…
(Suddenly, in a shock to everyone, MR. PERFECT appeared on the set behind the BELGIAN BRAWLER. The CROWD is going nuts!)
APTER: Well here he is ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Perfect!
BELGIAN BRAWLER: No, no, no. This is not Mr. Perfect. I am Mr. Perfect. This is merely Curt Hennig. For now I, THE BELGIAN BRAWLER, am Mr. Perfect.
APTER: Well, uh, Mr. Perfect what…
BELGIAN BRAWLER: DO NOT CALL HIM MR. PERFECT! He is NOT perfect! I am!
APTER: Well, can we get your thoughts on this.
PERFECT: Punk, I don’t even know who you are, but I do know that I was putting people away in the PERFECT PLEX years before you were even a little waffle over in Belgium. You used to watch me on TV when you were a wee tyke and now you think you can be tough and take me out. You want to be Mr.Perfect? Fine. I’ll let you hang onto that name.
BELGIAN BRAWLER (laughs): You see! You see America? Even the man says himself that I can have the name Mr. Perfect. HE does not need it.
PERFECT: Yeah. You can have the name. For one week my friend. You see, my doctor hasn’t cleared me to return yet. But in 7 days, I’ll have that clearance and then you and I my friend are going to have a match. A match for the title of Mr. Perfect!
BELGIAN BRAWLER: I’m not afraid of stepping into the ring with you, a loser. I will gladly accept that challenge.
PERFECT: Except that if it’s for the title of Mr. Perfect, we should probably make iit a NO DQ NO COUNTOUT match so there’s no ‘less than perfect’ wins.
BELGIAN BRAWLER: Fine with me!
PERFECT: And finally, to make sure that only the very best wins, I say we make it a two out of three falls match!
(CROWD goes nuts. BELGIAN BRAWLER looks around, the back at MR. PERFECT.)
BELGIAN BRAWLER: I agree to these terms.
(CROWD goes nuts.)
BELGIAN BRAWLER: But please do not feel saddened when I have beaten you in the first two falls.
PERFECT (laughs): Son, to be me in the first two falls you would need to be Perfect and the only person who’s perfect around here is me, MR. PERFECT!
(The crowd cheers as MR. PERFECT walks off the set leaving a frustrated BELGIAN BRAWLER ranting to APTER. Looks like we’ve got a heck of a match coming up for the title of MR. PERFECT! Now we head up to the ring for our MAIN EVENT!)
Cousin Luke and THE VALIANT BROTHERS d. Tom Prichard and MIDNIGHT EXPRESS via pinfall when Jimmy Valiant smashed Tom Prichard with a KNOGGIN KNOCKER with JIM CORNETTE into a pinfall – **** – The crowd was certainly fired up about this main event! It appears that ALBANO’S strategy was to keep one man separated from the rest of CORNETTE’S team and wear him down to get the win. PRICHARD never even got close to tagging out! ALBANO’S team picks up the win and it would seem that THE VALIANT BROTHERS are now in line for a title shot!