Live from WCCW Studios, Burbank, CA!
– FADE IN –
(The WCCW MONDAY NIGHT MAYHEM Theme plays. The WCCW Studios are set up with the usual bleachers packed with fans, but one side of the ring is without ropes. A table with microphones stands in the middle of the ring and next to it is a podium. On the studio floor outside the side of the ring with no ropes stand several rows of chairs. Members of the wrestling press sit in the chairs. Suddenly, COMMISSIONER PATRICK comes through the curtain down the aisle to the ring. The crowd cheers for him and he climbs the ring steps and crosses to the podium.)
COMMISSIONER PATRICK: Welcome to WCCW FAN FEST ’81!
COMMISSIONER PATRICK: You know, two years ago we started as a tiny little federation with a handful of wrestlers. There were some growing pains during the first part of those two years, but I’m proud to say that the WCCW is here to stay and we are now the hottest wrestling organization in the country!
COMMISSIONER PATRICK: And the reason we are number one is because of you, the fans. And that’s why today we celebrate the first annual Fan Fest!
COMMISSIONER PATRICK: Over the next hour or so we’re going to hear from some of the superstars of the WCCW and at the end of the day we’ll have a huge autograph signing where you, the fans, can meet the wrestlers one on one!
COMMISSIONER PATRICK: But before we start with the press conferences, I would like to open up the floor to any members of the press who have questions for me.
BILL APTER: Commissioner Patrick, have there been any new signings this year?
COMMISSIONER PATRICK: Indeed there has been. Some of them you’ll meet today. But I will say we’ve scoured the country from some of the very best grapplers we could find and have offered them contracts. I don’t want to give away all the signings right now as you’ll meet some of these new stars in a bit.
STU SAKS: Do you have any comments about the folding of the XWF?
COMMISSIONER PATRICK: Look, wrestling is a tough business. It takes a considerable amount of time and money. It also takes a good gauge of what the public wants. It just didn’t seem that the public was ready for that violent of a version of wrestling. I had my differences with the XWF, but I wish them no ill will.
STU SAKS: Have you signed any talent from the former XWF?
COMMISSIONER PATRICK: You’ll find out soon enough.
BILL APTER: The WCCW is now part of the National LWA correct?
COMMISSIONER PATRICK: Yes and this is where things get really exciting. Because we’ve joined up with the LWA, that means we can now expand. Starting immediately we will begin having cards in venues not only in California, but in Oregon, Nevada, Washington and beyond. We’ll also be sending out top ranked superstars to national events to compete against the top stars of the other four federations in the LWA. This is an exciting time and a time to show the rest of the world what West Coast Championship Wrestling is all about!
COMMISSIONER PATRICK: Okay, we need to start the press conferences so we can end on time. If anyone in the press needs to chat with me, you can catch me afterwards. But let’s get set for the first press conference here at Fan Fest ’81!
COMMISSIONER PATRICK: And now to we’ll begin today the way we being every WCCW event, with the playing of the National Anthem.
(COMMISSIONER PATRICK cues the sound crew and the STAR SPANGLED BANNER plays.)
(Right when the Star Spangled Banner his the ‘Rockets Red Glare’ line a loud booming voice echoes though the studio over the P.A. system.)
VOICE: Turn it off! Turn off that garbage!!
(Two huge men thunder out from behind the curtains at the entrance way. They are incredibly large, seemingly savage men with little spikes at the top of their bald heads. They run over to the sound man and begin pummeling him. Then through the curtain runs former WCCW champion THE IRON SHEIK. He runs to the sound console and grabs the record off the turn table. The STAR SPANGLED BANNER comes to a screeching halt and the IRON SHEIK breaks the albums in two, throws it on the floor on top of the wailing sound man and spits on them both! The CROWD is going nuts with major boos at the actions of these three men. All three climb into the ring. THE IRON SHEIK is ranting and raving at the crowd and the two hulking men just stare at everyone. Suddenly a large man in a white and red mask appears at the top of the ramp. He holds a microphone and behind him stands another man in a beret. The two make their way to the ring much to the dismay of the CROWD. They join the other men in the ring and the man in the mask holds the microphone up to his lips.)
THE DESTROYER: My name is, The Destroyer and I was once just like you. I was a mindless, simpering dolt who called myself…an American. I lived the American dream. I had a a great job, a house, a car, a wife. Then the factory I worked for sold off the plant. I lost my job. The bank took my car, my house and my wife left me because of it. I went to the government to ask for help and what did they do? They turned their back on me! The left me homeless in the gutter! I got fed up! So I left! I left the ‘so called’ greatest country on earth and I travelled. My first stop was Japan, where I got a job as a security guard at the wrestling events there. Soon I tried my hand in the ring and found out I have natural talent in the squared circle! Soon I became a star in Japan and this allowed me to travel to other countries in the world. It was on those trips I began to see how countries outside the U.S. act. They care for their citizens. They make sure no one goes hungry! They make sure everyone has a home! After a few years I decided that it was time to return to the United States and show American the ugly truth! Show America the hatred other countries have for them due to their foreign policy. I sent a scout ahead. A scout who’s been here for the past two years seeing how things work in the WCCW! A scout named THE IRON SHEIK! He’s scouted the talent here and reported back to me so we could calculate our game plan. An now, two years later, the INVASION has begun. These two men to my left are from the wilds of Zagreb, Croatia! They are THE MONGOLS, Geeto and Bepo! They are here to destroy the other tag teams in the WCCW. And this young man to my left is from Belgium. He symbolizes the raw hatred that the youth in other countries have for the United States! And my name is The Destroyer and together the five of us are INVASION and soon the WCCW will be ours!
BILL APTER: Bepo Mongol looks familiar. Isn’t that…
THE DESTROYER: Shut up peon! We didn’t come here to be questioned by the, so called ‘free press’ in this country! If you think Bepo Mongol look familiar, perhaps you’d like him to come out there to give you a closer look eh?
(BEPO MONGOL begins stomping down the stairs and BILL APTER waves him off.)
THE DESTROYER: (Laughing.) That’s what I thought. Just like all Americans. Spineless!
(All five men begin laughing as they leave ringside. They scare the paramedics here to tend to the sound man. They leave and the sound man is carried out and two new ones take his place. Once they have everything set up, we’re ready for our next Press conference.)
(The song CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO by NRBQ fills the studio and out comes CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO himself! The crowd cheers as he heads to the podium in the middle of the ring.)
CAPTAIN LOU: Restructuring brother! That’s what’s happening here in the Capper’s Menagerie! See, the Capper cleared out the old ranks! Snuka, Koko, The Bees, they’re all gone and Lou Albano went and got himself a whole new stable of talent to make a big splash in the WCCW! First, let me introduce, from Hog Waller, TN, Cousin Luke!
(The Oak Ridge Boys music begins playing and out comes COUSIN LUKE, giving hi-fives to the fans on his way to the ring.)
COUSIN LUKE: Boy I tell ya, Uncle Lou..
CAPTAIN LOU: That’s Captain, Captain…
COUSIN LUKE: Oh right, I tell you Uncle Captain, I sure appreciate you bringing me round here to the WCCW! I’ve been itchin’ ta get in the ring an rassle and that’s wait I aims ta do!
CAPTAIN LOU: That’s right brother! You’re gonna take on all comers here in the WCCW aren’t ya?
COUSIN LUKE: You got that right! But I’m aimin’ to start with that city slicker I saw when I was a-watchin the old tapes of the talent here. Brutus Beefcake! What’s his problem? Dressing up in those frilly tights and dancin’ around like a fool! You come round the hills dressed like that, boy, you’re gonna be beat up faster than a goose in a butter churn!
CAPTAIN LOU: You see I’m putting together the toughest group of guys in the world here for my WCCW team! In the past two years, my luck with Tag Teams has sort of been hit or miss. I’ve nothing but respect for THE KILLER BEES and FLYIN’ HIGH, but neither team was able to get the job done and capture the championships! So that’s why I went out and found me a tag team that is a serious, focused and dedicated tag team! One that just needed the brain power of Captain Lou behind them to reach the top! Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the next WCCW Tag Team Champions…THE VALIANT BROTHERS!
(THE VALIANTS come to the ring, focused and determined. The head to the podium and CAPTAIN LOU gives them the mic.)
JOHNNY V.: The Valiant Brothers are here in the WCCW! My name is Johnny Valiant and this man next to me is Jimmy Valiant! And we’re here to tell all the fans of the WCCW that they need to buckle their seat belts because when the Valiant Brothers hit the ring, they are going to see something they’ve never seen before!
JIMMY V: That’s right Johnny! When the Valaints step into that ring, you’re going to see tag team wrestling New York style! We’ve heard the Midnight Express say there was no more competition in this fed, well, you’re looking at the competition that’s going to be kicking you asses all over the West Coast and with The Captain in our corner, there’s going to be no stopping us!
CAPTAIN LOU: That’s right! And we’re not stopping there! I have one more addition to my team that’ll turn the WCCW on it’s head! You know I was walking down the streets of Los Angeles one night, and I heard a noise from down an alley. I look down and make the greatest discovery in the history of professional wrestling! I hit the jackpot baby is what I’m telling you! The newest member of Captain Lou’s Menagerie and it’s BIGGEST singles star ever…THE MISSING LINK!
(THE MISSING LINK fumbles through the curtain. ALBANO runs out to lead him to the ring. LINK is wild eyed and he grabs for the crowd. ALBANO seems to barely be able to control him.)
HARRY BURKETT: The Missing Link! He wrestled in the XWF!
CAPTAIN LOU: That’s right. (LINK tries to eat the microphone.) No, put that down. He did wrestle in the XWF. When they folded they just opened up the doors and let him wander out into the streets! If you thought he was wild before, just wait till you see him in the ring! Luckily I’ve been able to…
(LINK wrests the microphone from ALBANO and shoves it into his mouth. ALBANO, COUSIN LUKE and THE VALAINTS try to wrestle the microphone from LINK and begin to lead him backstage and the microphone is too soggy to continue!)
(The MIDNIGHT EXPRESS’ music hits and out comes the champs enter the studio to a round of boos followed by Jim Cornette. The enter the ring and Cornette demands a new microphone, refusing to use the one now covered in the Missing Link’s drool. A stagehand runs one up to him.)
CORNETTE: What do we have to do? Huh? What do we have to do to get some decent competition here? We’ve fought everyone that the WCCW has thrown at us and we’ve beaten them all! It’s enough to–
(CORNETTE’S microphone cuts out. Frustrated CORNETTE looks to the stagehand grabs another mic from the sound guy and runs it up to him.)
CORNETTE: — jerk! Test! Hello? You’d think with all the money the WCCW was making they could afford better sound equipment! As I was saying. The MIDNIGHT EXPRESS has taken on all comers and destroyed them.. Now th–
(Again his mic cuts out. The stagehand runs out and looks it over.)
STAGEHAND: Check. Test. Check, Check.
(He shrugs and hands it back to CORNETTE.)
CORNETTE: Enough to drive me–what?–the—want—this—christ–
(CORNETTE is irate now. The stagehand takes the mic back and tests it.)
STAGEHAND: Check . Check. Test. It’s working fine. Hold it closer to you mouth maybe?
(CORNETTE snatches the mic away and holds it right up to his lips.)
CORNETTE: –deserve some respect! Now, as I was saying. The Midnight Express is the longest reigning Tag Team in the WCCW. We’re the team that ran the Road Warriors out of the WCCW!
(CORNETTE begins to notice that laughter is now spreading through the studio. Puzzled he stops and looks around.)
CORNETTE: What? What is it? Why are you laughing.
(The cameras finally focus in on the problem. CORNETTE’S mouth is now entirely black. A quick cut shows the STAGEHAND and the SOUND GUY in hysterics. CORNETTE sees himself on the monitor and turns to the MIDNIGHT EXPRESS. They begin trying to help CORNETTE clean himself up when the STAGEHAND and SOUND GUY storm the ring and knock all three men on their asses! The crowd is going nuts! The two men continue to stomp on Lane and Eaton. Cornette rolls out of the ring onto the floor! The Stagehand grabs Lane and hits him with a powerful pump handle slam while the Sound guy hits Eaton with a Standing Leg Drop! The crowd is frantic. The Stage hand pulls a new mic out of his pocket.)
STAGE HAND: My name is the Road Dogg Jesse James and the man next to me is Badd Ass Bully Gunn! We are the NEW AGE OUTLAWS and we’re here to take over the WCCW! And if you don’t like the sound of that, we got two words for ya…SUCK IT!
(The crowd is nuts as the NEW AGE OUTLAWS make rude gestures over the fallen MIDNIGHT EXPRESS. The Leave the ring via the crowd. CORNETTE is LIVID as he collects Eaton and Lane who don’t appear to know what’s even happening. This will be an interest feud for sure!)
(BRUTUS BEEFCAKES music hits and he makes his way out to the ring. He climbs the steps and approaches the podium as the crowd boos.)
BEEFCAKE: Finally, I’m finally free of Greg “The Hammer” Valentine. We may have called ourselves THE DREAM TEAM but believe me it was no dream for me. Going to events night after night, not knowing if Valentine would even show up to the venue! It was ridiculous! So he’s gone, and I’m on my own! free to go back to my roots! My roots on the streets of San Francisco! That’s right the streets! Time to pull no punches and take no prisoners! But you know, I liked having a partner, someone I could count on and I found just the man. A man who was looking for someone else to join up with! Here’s my new partner…Virgil!
(Virgil comes to the ring without the MILLION DOLLAR MAN! The crowd is shocked!)
VIRGIL: That’s right, I’m free from the DiBiase! I’m my own man now! And I’f found someone who’ll treat my like an equal! Someone who I can kick ass and raise hell with and that’s my man Beefcake here!
BEEFCAKE: That’s right and I also found someone with good street sense to guide us to the top! Someone who’ll take no crap from anyone here in the WCCW and make sure we get the wins! Our new manager…Trinity Denucci!
(Loud heavy metal music plays and Trinity comes running out to the ring.)
DENUCCI: Hello boys! The party is over and the WCCW is no longer a boys club! Trinity is here and with Beefcake and Virgil, the WCCW will be mine for the taking!
STU SAKS: What happened to Ted DiBiase and Greg Valentine?
BEFFECAKE: Those two worthless punks have left the WCCW. They could be in other feds, but who cares? They are old news! The news now is the new team standing in front of you! Beefcake, Virgil and Denucci!
DENUCCI: That’s right, the three of us make the perfect Trinity!
BILL APTER: Are you going to be competing in singles matches or tag matches?
VIRGIL: Both! We’re take on teams and singles, it doesn’t matter, now that we’re together and can watch each other’s backs!
BEEFCAKE: We’ll wrestler as a team called THE BACK ALLEY PUNKS to let our opponents know that they’d better be ready for a brawl when they step in the ring with us!
TRINITY: That’s right! and Cousin Luke, you want to step in the ring with Beefcake, anytime. My man here will wipe the mat with you and send you back to the hills wishing for some moonshine to heal your wounds! Wake up WCCW, the BACK ALLEY PUNKS are here!
(A royal fanfare starts which can only mean one thing. The KING is here! The WCCW CHAMPION, KING HARLEY RACE. The curtains part and out comes the RACE to a chorus of boos. He climbs the ring steps and crosses to the podium.)
RACE: Yes. That’s right the King has arrived! And as you can see I am traveling lighter than I have been in the past! Why? Because the King has cleaned his castle! The first thing I did was fire that worthless Bobby Heenan! That, weasel, was doing nothing but claiming all the credit for the achievement I was making in the ring! I got this belt through my own ambition, no thanks to any of Heenan’s doing! I also sent the rest of his men with him! Bundy and Runde! They were nothing but no talent hacks who just wanted to ride the King’s robe to glory! Now, I understand that being the WCCW champion, everyone will be gunning for me. That’s why I went out and found three of the toughest men who will be the royal guard if you will. Men not afraid to step into the ring and kick ass. Men I could count on! First I needed an enforcer. Someone who could carry out the King’s proclamations and I found just the man! The man who I like to call THE AXE, Larry “The Axe” Hennig!
(The curtains part and out come a huge hulking man. He’s an intimidating sight and he strides to the ring and stands next to RACE with his arms folded. He’s scowling at the crowd and looks incredibly tough.)
RACE: I also needed some knights around me. Men who could handle any teams that come my way. Men who could go out and bring new gold to the King’s Court! Men who could bring dignity to the WCCW tag team titles. Please welcome the team of Bob and Brad Armstrong, THE ARMSTRONGS!
(Again, the curtains part and two men emerge. They appear to be a sleek high flying team as they make their way to the ring and stand behind RACE.)
RACE: Loyal subjects, I give you, THE KING’S COURT!
(The CROWD boos. Suddenly a voice is heard over the P.A.)
VOICE: All hail. All hail.
(RACE spins around and looks to the entrance. Suddenly COWBOY BOB ORTON appears through the curtains.)
ORTON: Race, you’re pathetic. Look at you hiding behind all those men up there. Why don’t you be a true champion and defend the belt by yourself instead of hiding behind your court?
RACE: Shut up Orton! I’ve beaten you before! You couldn’t get the job done!
ORTON: True, you’ve beaten me before. But that was then. This is now. You seem to have surrounded yourself with a bunch of tough guys there. Unfortunately they look to be a bit ‘past their prime’.
RACE: Really. Well perhaps you’d like to get in the ring with the four of us and we’ll see how well us ‘old’ guys fare against you?
ORTON: I’m not stupid Race! Stepping into that ring alone would be the last mistake I ever made. No. Like you, I’ve decided to form a stable. A stable that would do everything in their power to unseat ‘The King’. A stable, unlike yours, where there’s no one giving orders. Just four guys looking out for each other. Four guys who will take over the WCCW.
RACE: Heh. This I can’t wait to see. Who’s in your little group?
ORTON: Well, first of all I needed a wrestler who embodies perfect technical wrestling skill. Someone who could take on your ‘enforcer’ physically and emotionally.
RACE: Ha ha ha! There’s no one who can match THE AXE physically and as far as emotionally, there’s no one that can get into his mind!
ORTON: Oh really? Not even his son, Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig!
(The CROWD goes nuts! RACE and THE AXE look furious.)
RACE: Fine. Fine, you may have Perfect, but just keep this in mind, who do you think taught Perfect everything he knows? His father! He can take him out! But you’re still down two men Orton! Who’sgoing to take on THE ARMSTRONGS.
ORTON: Well that was a quandary. I needed a team that had no fear in standing up to anyone in the WCCW! But Early tonight I found just the team. The newest team in the WCCW, THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS!
(At the mention of the team that trounced the MIDNIGHT EXPRESS earlier, the CROWD goes nuts! The KING’S COURT looks flustered. RACE calms them down.)
ORTON: You time at the top is fading Race! It’s time for the NEW GUARD to take over!
RACE: Orton, you may have a team but I don’t see them. All I see is you and what I see is pathetic! Where’s the rest of this so called NEW GUARD! They afraid to show their faces?
ORTON: No, they’re not afraid. In fact, they’re right behind you.
(All four men of the KING’S COURT spin around and come face to face with Mr. Perfect and the NEW AGE OUTLAWS! A huge brawl erupts and ORTON enters the fray as well! If this is any indication of the action we can expect in the new WCCW, we’re in for a hell of a ride. All eight men pummel each other with no mercy and soon all the WCCW officials storm the ring to try and restore order! They have a rough time and order is nowhere near restored as we…)
FADE TO BLACK